Wow! I disagree mightily with your answer to this person. When a person starts a business, what else should they be doing but what they know and have experience in?

So if her brother-in-law had a restaurant, she shouldn’t have started another restaurant across town?

An act of betrayal? A hostile act? Does she need to move to Omaha to make a living now?

Not to mention the fact that she had a contract with the guy. Whether he hired her as a favor or as a valuable employee, he was clearly smart enough and professional enough to put it in writing, and she has abided by the contract –that’s all he can or should expect. In addition, she worked there for five years, certainly long enough to “pay her dues” and to show her value as an employee.

When we are hired by an employer, it is a quid pro quo situation. Their money for our expertise. Even if the original job was a “favor,” he was still getting value for his dollar, and if he kept her on for five years just as a “favor” rather than because she was adding value to his business, then he’s just a moron.

I doubt that starting her business was “aimed at taking customers from [her] brother-in-law and bread off [her] sister’s family’s table.” I imagine she is an entrepreneur wishing to specialize in field she has come to be an expert in.

By your rules, a ton of huge corporations wouldn’t exist, and Donald Trump would probably be selling bagels instead of “betraying” his father by entering the real estate business.

I don’t think you should “steal” clients from your brother in law, however I do feel that if your business is successful and his is as well, everyone should wish each other well and be happy for one each other…be family…be adults. Sometimes, however, family are the worst ones to try to have working relationships with. It tends to cause a lot of hurt and heartache. I know from experience. Just hang in there.

If there’s more than enough business for both of you, I think that your family should wish you both well and mind their own collective business.

However, if you signed a non-compete clause, or otherwise stole all of Jeff’s ideas and now his business is suffering, then I think your family is justified.

The United States is a big country. You don’t need to compete against your brother-in-law directly. Choose another business market area.

My two cents. First, Jeff is not “family”. Jeff married into this mess, and sounds like the moneyman helping out everyone. When Jeff starts sleeping with the secretary, will this family now demand the sister stay with Jeff?

Second, most business partnerships are not win win, whether family, friends, or strangers with similiar interests. Anyone going into a business relationship should plan for it ending badly, and be pleasantly suprised if things work out.

The amount paid by Elliott Spitzer for what he got pales in comparison to the screwing I got doing business with family.

Stay away from family business involvements at all costs.

What if the guy is great at what he’s doing & would be successful in the same field as Jeff? Should he stop his new business just because he had worked for his sister’s husband before?

If Jeff’s business were so great, he/they needn’t fear competition. Maybe they can even collaborate on big projects.

I would suggest that the asker of the question move his/her business to a or identify a different niche as appropriate. That way, you are not in direct competition with your in-law but can still take advantage of the skills that you learned from your in-law. You don’t want to be in a position where you continue to be dependent upon your in-law because then you are not in control of your life.

Your question suggests that you had a contract with a non-compete clause. It seems that you lived up to your end of the bargain; you were then free to do what you wanted.

If the family element was so important, why did your brother in law (i) ask you to sign a contract, and (ii) include a non-compete clause? Also, why didn’t your brother in law offer to go into business with you? If family was so important, he would have.

You’re in the clear as far as I’m concerned.

I’d say two words to describe what your entire family thinks of you, and [they're not flattering].

I believe in sticking with family 100%, but I can personally attest that when push comes to shove, the ‘in-laws’ do not count as family when it comes to business.

If things go good, all is well. However, once things sour, the in-laws will protect their blood before yours — ultimately sacrificing your spouse (their son or daugther) in lieu of protecting their assets.

This is not altogether unreasonable, unless one of the parties has forced their hand to manipulate another.

This is where morality, ethics, and loyalty come into play. If you find either party lacking in any of these qualities, then rest assured that in a competitive environment these qualities (or lack thereof) will be applied to the other party.

Sometimes families by marriage can work together, but business is a marriage of sorts as well; whether you are related or not.

If your father/mother/sister/brother in-law is the kind of person who would screw his competitors regardless of being related or not, then they will most certainly screw you as well.

Sure this is common sense, but when it comes to family we tend to overlook the obvious and see what we want, and give people more credit than they deserve.

The worst thing you can do is do something for someone in the family. Not only are people shallow enough as it is, but when it comes to people who tend to be closer to you than the general populous, the damage received can be much more personal. Family tends to allow a comfort zone that wouldn’t normally exist with your average relationship unless you really let down your guard. Trust, faith and honest communication are pretty much passed over anymore. Everybody “tries” to do the right thing, and nobody really does it. The reality is family consists of humans and humans make tons of mistakes. If the guy at the start of this article followed along with the contract, then he played within the rules his family member set for him. The family member and the family have no say so outside of what the two originally agreed on. They can feel however they want, but to expect otherwise on the agreement they originally made makes the brother-in-law look petty. On the other side of the argument, competition should be welcome, especially if it’s healthy. By the looks of it, the guy questions his actions, which means he’s has a conscience and isn’t completely heartless and obtuse. Competition doesn’t mean that everybody gets cut from the same cookie cutter. It doesn’t mean that he’s going in direct defiance of his brother-in-law. It could mean that he just found another way and to stay with his brother-in-law would’ve stifled that other way to exist within the market. In the end, the guy has free will and everybody involved will have to face the consequences of their actions. It’s been that way since Cain & Able.

It sounds to me like everyone is over-reacting. Marketing research is a huge field, with many competing firms, so one more is not going to make a bit of difference. He probably also had to get a degree for his job, so he may have already had dreams of owning his business, and worked under his sister’s husband for experience. There is nothing wrong with this at all. Marketing research is a very lucrative field to be in, so there is no loss of bread. Sometimes it is time to spread your wings and fly from the nest. Was he supposed to give up his dreams and what he went to school for simply because his brother-in-law also happened to be in the business that wouldn’t even be effected by his practice?

Fleming and Schwarz say that if Jay had wanted to block the writer from working in the same business, Jay should have done so in the employment contract. Clearly neither of these people is a lawyer. Eternal covenants not to compete are per se unenforceable. There is no way that Jay could have legally prevented his brother-in-law from entering that business forever, so don’t place blame on Jay.

Also, while I agree that family is important, it seems to me that without further information we shouldn’t condemn the writer for his actions. He might have had very good reasons for quitting his job with his brother-in-law that he didn’t want to air on this blog.

As the owner of a fifth-generation family business, I know from painful experience that there are different types of families. I purchased my business from my Dad five years ago on a hand shake agreement because it was my Dad, FAMILY, and I trusted him. A big mistake and extremely naive of me. I now find he owes the company over 1/4 million dollars that should have been paid before I purchased it. Some family loyalty.

Rule of thumb I learned before I ever entered the work force — don’t enter into business with family.

The family all comes callin, slaps you on the back and says “please”, “Please”.

Here I am, stuck in the middle with you.

It can’t be undone. But now you will need to focus on doing the right thing. It is important not to use any proprietary information obtained from the other firm, and not to actively solicit business from your brother-in-law’s client. And for goodness sakes, be sure to send the brother-in-law a plant and a HANDWRITTEN note telling him how much you appreciate his mentorship and hope that you will continue to find ways to enhance each other’s success. Even if it is not the absolute gospel truth, the gesture may go a long way toward reconciling your family. And buy roses for your sister. Many years from now, she may be the only family member alive to attend your funeral.

It’s rather interesting how some people feel they are entitled to everything.

My story: I started off with not much but my wits and convinced a good number of people to train me in a profession I thought I could work into a career for myself. I worked hard and diligently - and went so far as to obtain a certification some of my trainers had not, one veterans of my field had a difficult time with.

I was rewarded by stonewalled requests for raises. Under-water stock options. I wasn’t making enough to make it without staying with an abusive boyfriend, so I quit. A year after I quit, I would’ve lost my job due to the entire department being moved to Guadalajara Mexico.

From that, I had nothing but resentment, no matter how much I explained it. These guys weren’t even family - they’re just greedy and jealous. There’s a lot missing from the writer’s story, but I wish him luck. Hopefully he does truly get what he deserves, in good fortune or bad.

So we now owe our employers our undying gratitude and have to put our own dreams on hold for fear of possibly offending someone? One would think that the ingratitude would be towards the person who emulated the brother by going out on their own and doing it by not taking any clients. Sure they will compete for new clients, but then the person with the best pitch will win. No one is taking ‘bread’ of anyone’s table. And no one should have to sublimate thier ambitions because a family member might (emphasis on “might” lose a little business. Had “Jeff” grown tired of the writer, would he have been a rat fink for firing them? No. It goes both ways. The only thing that was owed to Jeff was that the writer do the best job he or she could while employed by him. Grow up people.

“Either way, though, you’ve shown a remarkable lack of family loyalty in starting a business aimed at taking customers from your brother-in-law and bread off your sister’s family’s table. Any way you slice it, that’s a hostile act.”

Right on the money. I couldn’t imagine doing that. If I did that to my boyfriend’s sister, that’d be terrible.

For myself, I would have offered Jeff a partnership first. At that time, he could have said ya or na.
Of course, there is the question of why you don’t work for Jeff anymore.

It seems that the parting was on good terms, because from the tone of the letter, the family is still talking, etc., etc. It also sounds more like the writer received valuable experience and contacts working with the brother-in-law. Starting a business a year later in direct competition is just a good way to start bad blood. Why not start in a different city or with a slightly different clientèle? Then, the brother-in-law could even assist. It’s just a slap to start a business in direct competition with family, doubtless, with similar contacts, even going after the same business. When you have good familial terms, you have the most valuable allies anyone could hope for.

Really, I agree with Jay. I’ll take it further. Family is not all that [great]. I’ve had some real dirt done to me by family, so I leave most of them alone or keep my distance to a certain degree.

I would not hesitate to start a business that was the same thing that another family member had.

I recall an interview with “The Donald” (Donald Trump) on one of those news magazine programs on TV. I think this interview took place during his early success with his reality show “The Apprentice.” In this interview, he talked about a situation similar to this one, except it wasn’t family. Basically, he gave a big opportunity to a women to work for his organization. As soon as she gained experience in the real estate investment field, she struck out on her own and started her own firm. Throughout her business success, she never once called The Donald to show her appreciation and gratitude. But, her business finally hit hard times and closed down. She came crying back to The Donald for work. Guess what?! The Donald wouldn’t even give her the time-of-day. This is what happens to arrogant, ungrateful people.

It it difficult to assess the situation here with so little information provided.

• Why did this guy leave the firm?
• Was it on good or bad terms?
• Did this guy discuss with Jeff or his sister his plans to open a competing firm?

Either way, if you plan on opening a competing business to your relatives, you should certainly discuss it prior to acting upon it, if for no other reason than out of sheer courtesy and respect.

If there was bad blood to begin with, and this guy was hoping to repair the relationship, bad move. But if no amends were sought, who cares. Let them complain, then tell them that if they can’t compete with you, how do they expect to survive against a more ruthless competitor?

Speaking from experience, I’ve noticed that working with family rarely works. Often it leaves a bad taste in everyone’s mouth. Family relations are strained, and contracts are usually not upheld. In my opinion, leave family and business where they belong: SEPARATE. There is nothing worse than a family get together where certain members are at odds with each other.

Talking about business experience or contract law is nice if you are discussing this issue in court for a breach of contract action, or if you are discussing whether this was a good business decision, but I believe that what was being discussed here was the family and relationship aspect between the former employer and employee. Next time you cut someone off in traffic or yell at your spouse try comforting them with the fact that what you did was not “illegal” and was fair in the eyes of the law. What is “fair” in the eyes of the law is seldom the most tactful or diplomatic way to resolve a family dispute, which is what this article is about to begin with.

How were the skills you used in the business aquired ? Did your brother in law train a viper in his own nest ? Were you the loser relative he was forced to hire and teach or did he have the capital and you the expertise and you taught him the business ?

Are you in the same geographic market ?

Well, after reading all the comments it is clear that we do not have all the facts on this situation. But the bottom line is that family issues are always complex.

I agree with the advice: do not go against family. No matter how you slice and dice at the end of the day, you cannot win.

What about the writer’s right to put food on his table? It seems to me that if there is a large enough market for market research, the brother-in-law would notice no decrease in business. That is probably why the writer decided to start his own business, he saw a large market capable of supporting another firm. I don’t think the writer would try to start his own firm if demand for market reseach services was tight.

There’s a lot to this story that is missing. Mainly, why leave a family business? What was the motivation to leave and not stay? Was there friction already? Did the brother in law make promises, like advancement, pay increases, responsiblility,or equity participation that were not kept? What if the brother in law that left was the reason the business was succeeding, but he got no recognition as a principal? As long as he is abiding by his contractual agreements, that is all that is required. It does not sound like Jeanne and Leonard have ever worked for a family business before. The “hostile act” sounds more like letting the guy go.

“Don’t be surprised if, when times are bad, the rest of the family does not seem inclined to help you out.”

They’ll also be the first expecting money if the s/he is successful

Situation depends. For example in the village where my mother in law lives, there are several people some degree relatives. They don’t even recognize 2 or 3 level cousins as relatives. When an environment is hostile or stranger, then of course the situation is different.

Not one of the respondents, thus far, has shown any business experience or knowledge of contract law. The person has stated that they are “abiding by the terms of the employment contract.” This is fair in the eyes of the law.

Jeff should visit LawDepot.com for his future employment contracts and stop crying about competition.

You should have become a partner/business owner in your brother - in -law’s firm insted of going out on your own. You would have had one less competitor.

I like healthy competition, but really. You guys could have formed an LLP/LLC and expanded the business and created a family oriented mega-business. But it seems there is a back story here within the family that made that a non-option, or the person asking the question is not capable of having Grandiose vision. You know, “vision,” the stuff that REAL business leaders have :).

Anyway….

You are right “Whitt Pond”. It would not surprise me if the person asking the question had a “I can do it better than that guy” type attitude, oh yeah, when the shoe drops his AND the sis’s family will obtain some vindication and pity his arrogance … and still not help him … and promote a divorce.

Any way you slice it, the advice is bit oversimplistic perspective for today’s world. It is surprising to come from a PH. D.

A little critical thought if you please.

Even with the small number of factors given there are a number of other questions to ask. Such as, what is the family “law”, so to speak. Is the business in the same town or percise market segment? Did Jeff treat the employee fairly? There is such a thing as a right to earn a living even within the universe of non-competition.

Family is not always right. Going against family in some circumstances may be warranted. What caused the split, did it stem directly from the lack of ethical conduct in the original business in question. Just because something is tolerated in a family setting does not make it ethical.

This guy could’ve easily franchised from his brother-in-law or cut him in on the new business.

Do what’s best for you. Too often people are held back by their family.

Dude, [what] are you thinking.

Further, the way that he/she mentions “my sister’s husband” rather than brother-in-law and “this guy’s approval” certainly smacks of hostility.

I agree with Money’s response: you’re looking for trouble by competing with family.

This was a really dumb move by a man who evidently doesn’t have even the most basic understanding of the meaning of family. Don’t be surprised if, when times are bad, the rest of the family does not seem inclined to help you out.