Ben Franklin:
I think you glossed over the question. If his mother is working in her sixties in an administrative position, she’s not one of your “high net worth” clients. The question explicitly states that her nest egg is small and not growing. In those circumstances, I think her child’s concern is legitimate; your quality in life is reduced if you cannot afford to provide for your own retirement.

That said, I always tell my own mother to spend as much money as she can while she’s alive. She’s saving money because it will make her happier not to rely on her children, but I think children should never expect an inheritance. It does sound like this mother needs to defer some of her generosity to this nonprofit, just to avoid potentially becoming a burden to her family or the state.

I think a productive way to handle this is to aknowledge the mothers’ desire to contribute to the cause, but explain to her the financial impact it is having not only on her right now, but also the impact it will have on her and her children in the future.

The solution you can both agree on: She saves her money now for her own future care. Then writes her will so that a reasonable amount will go to the org upon her death (after her funeral costs, of course).

As an advisor to high net worth clients, I frequently see children who are overly concerned about their parents level of spending (or giving). I wonder how much of this concern is selfishly driven by the impact on their own inheritance.

I agree with Lou from ny,ny. An employer doesn’t always know the details of the financial situation of its employees. I remember reading a story of a janitor making $11/hr who saved millions over the years!! I know software developers making over 100K a year, but who live paycheck to paycheck. Anyway, in the end, it is the mother who is responsible for her money. However, it’s possible that she’s not mindful of the future cost of her care. I mean, who really thinks about one day becoming a burden their own children? It really is a matter of her child having a heart to heart talk with her.

The mother is giving away her kids’ money and, to the extent they won’t be able to care for her in retirement, our money. Like anyone who spends beyond their means, she is not spending her own money. One day, someone else will have to foot the bill for her. If anyone is dishonest here, it is her. She’s stealing money!

Of course the mother has the decision of what to do with her money, but the child will be stuck with the medical and hospice bills after the mother has given all of her money to charity. The mother should be thinking about the welfare of her own children before that of a charity.

Wasn’t this article first issued several months ago? It should at least be referenced as a reprint.

John, you have a great memory. This article was headlined for two and a half hours about six weeks ago. Jeanne & Leonard

Very interesting topic that has many varations. Would you answer the same way if this were a mainstream religion? Concept wise it’s not all that different. It’s better to let the individual decide and understand the consequences of their decision, which I believe is sound advice.
Just because the employer doesn’t pay well, doesn’t mean that they know the employee’s overall finances. Without having all the facts and details, the analysis component is difficult to complete. Overall good points made.