Question: My husband and I have been planning to retire early. The thing is, our 28-year-old daughter, who is something of a late bloomer, still relies on us financially. Once we retire, we won’t be able to help Nora nearly as much. I think we should continue working until she’s self-supporting, but my husband says no way - we’ve already done enough. Please tell him there’s no time limit on being a good parent!

Our answer: While it’s true that there’s no time limit on being a good parent, the clock is running out on Nora’s being a child. Your obligation was to feed her, shelter her, educate her and teach her right from wrong while she was a minor. Now it’s her obligation to support herself and not stand in the way of her parents’ retirement - and happiness.

Yes, we know that 50 is the new 40, 20 is the new 14, and kids are leaving the nest later and later. But since your child is old enough to run for Congress, it’s not unreasonable to expect her to take responsibility for paying her own way in life.

If Nora needed your help because she’d been sick, say, or because she was completing a degree, that would be different. But Nora is just a late bloomer. And one thing late bloomers can’t do is expect Mom and Dad to keep working indefinitely while they take their time blossoming.

So do yourselves and Nora a favor: Help your daughter grow up. And enjoy that early retirement.

P.S. It makes no difference that your retirement will be “early.” What matters is how old Nora is, not how old you are.

Question: When I told my new neighbor I was participating in a triathlon to raise money for a charity, he volunteered to send in a check for $50.  I was very appreciative at the time.  But since then, he’s asked me to support him in three different runs for worthy causes.  I’ve said yes each time, but this is starting to get expensive.  At what point can I say no, and what should I tell him?

Our answer:  Here’s what you do:  The next time your neighbor asks you for money, tell him that you wish him well, but unfortunately you can’t help out this time.  And keep telling him that until he gives up. 

Then here’s the next thing you do:  Swear to yourself you’ll never put anyone else in the unpleasant position you’re now in.

There’s just one rule when it comes to soliciting this kind of donation: Unless you’re reasonably certain the person will be happy to make one, don’t ask.  Your neighbor has been breaking that rule - and we’re not so sure you didn’t as well when you told him about the triathlon. 

Americans are by and large an unusually charitable people.  But most of us prefer to devote the lion’s share of our charitable giving budget to the causes that matter to us, not the ones that interest our neighbors.  So when you ask someone to support you in an event like the triathlon or to buy a box of candy to help fund your child’s class trip, you’re asking them to put their friendship with you ahead of their own favorite charities.  That’s asking for a substantial favor - a favor that shouldn’t be sought lightly or, as your neighbor has, repeatedly.